Montag, Februar 26, 2007

Falling down...And down...And down...

Aquela teoria de "poderia ser pior" já caiu e muito no meu conceito. Não tenho mais para onde cair, até Satã rejeitaria a minha alma agora. E a sensação de que não haverá reviravolta ou segundo tempo para recuperar o jogo, me faz ficar mais paranóica e mais indisposta.
Chego da escola morta, me jogo na cama completamente encharcada de suor. Para trocar de roupa é um trabalho que só vendo...Primeiro tiro a primeira perna da calça e só depois de meia hora tiro a outra perna. Até vestir uma roupa qualquer, tomar um banho, entrar na internet e ver que as coisas continuam cruelmente iguais. Voltei á época do autismo por oção.
Não posso fazer mais nada, além de não fazer mais planos e nem ter mais sonhos. Faço agora o que me vêm na cabeça. E meu cabelo vai acabar ficando roxo novamente ao invés desse loiro quase aguado de agora. Se o meu corpo pudesse criar vida própria e se separar de mim... Mas todo mundo tem que viver sua vida e só Deus sabe como eu devo viver a minha...

Você se tornou cego, surdo e mudo. Eu lamento que você em vez de me tirar essa dúvida cruel , apenas finja que está sendo educado... Afinal de contas, o desprezo não é nenhum tipo de educação, meu caro. Que tipo de " monstrinho" você se tornou?! Ou o "monstrinho" é apenas a minha pseudo-esquizofrenia tentando me enganar pela milésima vez?! Oh, meu Deus...


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